Quote #13838
When you die, if you get a choice between going to regular heaven or...
Category Archives: Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
Quote #13854
We tend to scoff at the beliefs of the ancients. But we can’t scoff...
Quote #13775
I hope they never find out that lightning has a lot of vitamins in...
Quote #13791
Probably the earliest flyswatters were nothing more than some sort of striking surface attached...
Quote #13807
How come, just as the rocket is launching, the astronauts don’t also shoot some...
Quote #13823
Higher beings from outer space may not want to tell us the secrets of...
Quote #13839
The tired and thirsty prospector threw himself down at the edge of the watering...
Quote #13855
The big, huge meteor headed toward the Earth. Could nothing stop it Maybe Bob...
Quote #13776
I think when you go on trial they should have a parrot there that...
Quote #13792
When you go to a party at somebody’s house, don’t automatically assume that the...