Quote #13892
If you’re in a war, instead of throwing a hand grenade at some guys,...
Category Archives: Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
Quote #13908
I don’t say that the bird is ‘good’ or the bat is ‘bad.’ But...
Quote #13924
Carl would have to be fast to beat the stranger. Real fast. ‘Draw,’ said...
Quote #13877
If you ever catch on fire, try to avoid seeing yourself in the mirror,...
Quote #13893
A quiz If I am my brother’s keeper, who am I (Answer me.) 00...
Quote #13909
If you define cowardice as running away at the first sign of danger, screaming...
Quote #13925
When you’re going up the stairs and you take a step, kick the other...
Quote #13782
Here’s a good tip for when you go to the beach A sand dollar...
Quote #13798
As the light changed from red to green to yellow and back to red...
Quote #13814
If you get invited to your first orgy, don’t just show up nude. That’s...