Quote #13922
I hope if dogs ever take over the world, and they choose a king,...
Category Archives: Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
Quote #13875
If the captain invited me to his party, after he had whipped me earlier...
Quote #13891
I think one way police departments could make some money would be to hold...
Quote #13907
Sometimes I think the world has gone completely mad. And then I think, ‘Aw,...
Quote #13923
Most people don’t realize that large pieces of coral, which have been painted brown...
Quote #13876
I can see why it would be prohibited to throw most things off the...
Quote #13892
If you’re in a war, instead of throwing a hand grenade at some guys,...
Quote #13908
I don’t say that the bird is ‘good’ or the bat is ‘bad.’ But...
Quote #13924
Carl would have to be fast to beat the stranger. Real fast. ‘Draw,’ said...
Quote #13877
If you ever catch on fire, try to avoid seeing yourself in the mirror,...