Quote #13902
If you’re at a Thanksgiving dinner, but you don’t like the stuffing or the...
Category Archives: Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
Quote #13918
I guess one of the funniest memories of my grandfather was the time I...
Quote #13934
When I think back on all the blessings I have been given in my...
Quote #13871
I don’t think God put me on this planet to judge others. I think...
Quote #13887
I can’t stand cheap people. It makes me real mad when someone says something...
Quote #13903
Something tells me that the first mousetrap wasn’t designed to catch mice at all,...
Quote #13919
When I heard that trees grow a new ‘ring’ for each year they live,...
Quote #13872
If aliens from outer space ever come and we show them our civilization and...
Quote #13888
I wish a robot would get elected President. That way, when he came to...
Quote #13904
Whenever I open a door, I pull on the doorknob real hard, because isn’t...