Quote #13667
If you’re a boxing referee, it’s probably illegal to wear a bow tie that...
Category Archives: Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
Quote #13636
Somebody told me it was frightening how much topsoil we are losing each year,...
Quote #13652
If God dwells inside us, like some people say, I sure hope He likes...
Quote #13668
I guess I kinda lost control, because in the middle of the play I...
Quote #13637
One day one of my little nephews came up to me and asked me...
Quote #13653
If your friend is already dead, and being eaten by vultures, I think it’s...
Quote #13669
There are many stages to a man’s life. In the first stage, he is...
Quote #13622
Playing dead not only comes in handy when face to face with a bear,...
Quote #13638
Even though he was an enemy of mine, I had to admit that what...
Quote #13654
If I ever opened a trampoline store, I don’t think I’d call it Trampo-Land,...