Quote #13650
If you’re in a boxing match, try not to let the other guy’s glove...
Category Archives: Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
Quote #13666
Instead of burning a guy at the stake, what about burning him at the...
Quote #13635
How come the dove gets to be the peace symbol How about the pillow...
Quote #13651
I hope that after I die, people will say of me ‘That guy sure...
Quote #13667
If you’re a boxing referee, it’s probably illegal to wear a bow tie that...
Quote #13636
Somebody told me it was frightening how much topsoil we are losing each year,...
Quote #13652
If God dwells inside us, like some people say, I sure hope He likes...
Quote #13668
I guess I kinda lost control, because in the middle of the play I...
Quote #13637
One day one of my little nephews came up to me and asked me...
Quote #13653
If your friend is already dead, and being eaten by vultures, I think it’s...