Quote #13678
I think a new, different kind of bowling should be ‘carpet bowling.’ It’s just...
Category Archives: Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
Quote #13694
Instead of putting a quarter under a kid’s pillow, how about a pinecone That...
Quote #13710
The face of a child can say it all, especially the mouth part of...
Quote #13726
There should be a detective show called ‘Johnny Monkey,’ because every week you could...
Quote #13742
Worship the potato The idea seemed silly to me. But then I thought, what...
Quote #13758
You can’t tell me that cowboys, when they’re branding cattle, don’t sort of ‘accidentally’...
Quote #13774
If I ever become a mummy, I’m going to have it so when somebody...
Quote #13679
A man doesn’t automatically get my respect. He has to get down in the...
Quote #13695
If you go parachuting, and your parachute doesn’t open, and your friends are all...
Quote #13711
If you wear a toupee, why not let your friends try it on for...