Quote #13764
If you ever go temporarily insane, don’t shoot somebody, like a lot of people...
Category Archives: Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
Quote #13685
I don’t pretend to have all the answers. I don’t pretend to even know...
Quote #13701
The sound of fresh rain run-off splashing from the roof reminded me of the...
Quote #13717
If you go through a lot of hammers each month, I don’t think it...
Quote #13733
I wish everybody would have to have an electric thing implanted in our heads...
Quote #13749
In weightlifting, I don’t think sudden, uncontrolled urination should automatically disqualify you. 00
Quote #13765
Marta said I don’t seem to like to read fiction very much. ‘I guess...
Quote #13686
If I was the head of a country that lost a war, and I...
Quote #13702
It’s probably not a good idea to be chewing on a toothpick if you’re...
Quote #13718
I bet one legend that keeps recurring throughout history, in every culture, is the...