Quote #13733
I wish everybody would have to have an electric thing implanted in our heads...
Category Archives: Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
Quote #13749
In weightlifting, I don’t think sudden, uncontrolled urination should automatically disqualify you. 00
Quote #13765
Marta said I don’t seem to like to read fiction very much. ‘I guess...
Quote #13686
If I was the head of a country that lost a war, and I...
Quote #13702
It’s probably not a good idea to be chewing on a toothpick if you’re...
Quote #13718
I bet one legend that keeps recurring throughout history, in every culture, is the...
Quote #13734
Whenever I see an old lady slip and fall on a wet sidewalk, my...
Quote #13750
I bet a funny thing about driving a car off a cliff is, while...
Quote #13766
If I was a father in a waiting room, and the nurse came out...
Quote #13687
Is there anything more beautiful than a beautiful, beautiful flamingo, flying across in front...