Quote #13716
If any man says he hates war more than I do, he better have...
Category Archives: Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
Quote #13732
I think somebody should come up with a way to breed a very large...
Quote #13748
I can still recall old Mister Barnslow getting out every morning and nailing a...
Quote #13764
If you ever go temporarily insane, don’t shoot somebody, like a lot of people...
Quote #13685
I don’t pretend to have all the answers. I don’t pretend to even know...
Quote #13701
The sound of fresh rain run-off splashing from the roof reminded me of the...
Quote #13717
If you go through a lot of hammers each month, I don’t think it...
Quote #13733
I wish everybody would have to have an electric thing implanted in our heads...
Quote #13749
In weightlifting, I don’t think sudden, uncontrolled urination should automatically disqualify you. 00
Quote #13765
Marta said I don’t seem to like to read fiction very much. ‘I guess...