Quote #13690
If you think a weakness can be turned into a strength, I hate to...
Category Archives: Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
Quote #13706
Some folks say it was a miracle. Saint Francis suddenly appeared and knocked the...
Quote #13722
A good way to keep a mob of peasants from killing your monster is...
Quote #13738
I think there probably should be a rule that if you’re talking about how...
Quote #13754
Instead of trying to build newer and bigger weapons of destruction, mankind should be...
Quote #13770
If you work on a lobster boat, sneaking up behind someone and pinching him...
Quote #13691
If you ever fall off the Sears Tower, just go real limp, because maybe...
Quote #13707
When this girl at the museum asked me who I liked better, Monet or...
Quote #13723
Isn’t it funny how we’ll look out the window at the moon, and then...
Quote #13739
I bet a fun thing would be to go way back in time to...