Quote #13816
If life deals you lemons, why not go kill someone with the lemons (maybe...
Category Archives: Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
Quote #13832
I wonder if the polite thing to do is always the right thing to...
Quote #13848
We used to laugh at Grandpa when he’d head off to go fishing. But...
Quote #13864
Sometimes I wonder if I’m patriotic enough. Yes, I want to kill people, but...
Quote #13785
Maybe in order to understand mankind, we have to look at the word itself....
Quote #13801
I’d rather be rich than stupid. 00
Quote #13817
I wouldn’t be surprised if someday some fishermen caught a big shark and cut...
Quote #13833
If you’re robbing a bank, and your pants suddenly fall down, I think it’s...
Quote #13849
Instead of raising your hand to ask a question in class, how about individual...
Quote #13865
If you were an ancient barbarian, I bet a real embarrassing thing would be...