Quote #13783
I think a good scene in a movie would be where one scientist tells...
Category Archives: Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
Quote #13799
Whenever anyone says ‘I can’t,’ it makes me wish he’d get stung to death...
Quote #13815
Sometimes I think I’d be better off dead. No, wait. Not me, you. +2-4...
Quote #13831
If trees could scream, would we be so cavalier about cutting them down We...
Quote #13847
Love is not something that you can put chains on and throw into a...
Quote #13863
Fear can sometimes be a useful emotion. For instance, let’s say you’re an astronaut...
Quote #13784
As we were driving, we saw a sign that said ‘Watch For Rocks.’ Marta...
Quote #13800
Frank knew that no man had ever crossed the desert on foot and lived...
Quote #13816
If life deals you lemons, why not go kill someone with the lemons (maybe...
Quote #13832
I wonder if the polite thing to do is always the right thing to...