Quote #13778
The wise man can pick up a grain of sand and envision a whole...
Category Archives: Jack Handey Deep Thoughts
Quote #13794
What is it about a beautiful sunny afternoon, with the birds singing and the...
Quote #13810
We like to praise birds for flying. But how much of it is actually...
Quote #13826
If you’re a young Mafia gangster out on your first date, I bet it’s...
Quote #13842
If you want to sue somebody, just get a little plastic skeleton and lay...
Quote #13858
The other day I got out my can opener and was opening a can...
Quote #13779
If I come back as a horsefly, I think my favorite thing would be...
Quote #13795
People laugh when I say that I think a jellyfish is one of the...
Quote #13811
It makes me mad when I go to all the trouble of having Marta...
Quote #13827
A funny thing is if you’re out hiking and your friend gets bit by...