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Jack Handey Deep Thoughts

Quote #28253

Author admin Date October 28, 2013
In weightlifting, I don’t think sudden, uncontrolled urination should automatically disqualify you.
Aristotle, Politics (quoting a proverb)

Quote #4449

Author admin Date October 28, 2013
Well begun is half done.
Andrew A. Rooney

Quote #31247

Author admin Date October 28, 2013
Making duplicate copies and computer printouts of things no one wanted even one of...
Geoffrey Neighor

Quote #34373

Author admin Date October 28, 2013
Who would’ve thought such a slight tilt in our earthly axis could make such...
Arthur Schlesinger, Jr.

Quote #22900

Author admin Date October 28, 2013
The genius of impeachment lay in the fact that it could punish the man...
Sophocles

Quote #17293

Author admin Date October 28, 2013
He who throws away a friend is as bad as he who throws away...
Thomas Higginson

Quote #3523

Author admin Date October 28, 2013
The test of an author is not to be found merely in the number...
Somerset Maugham

Quote #14246

Author admin Date October 28, 2013
People ask for criticism, but they only want praise.
Lawrence Bixby

Quote #1688

Author admin Date October 28, 2013
Each handicap is like a hurdle in a steeplechase, and when you ride up...
Theodore Roosevelt

Quote #21951

Author admin Date October 28, 2013
The government is us we are the government, you and I.
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