Quote #3081
I love America. You always hurt the one you love.
Quote #19233
Crime, like disease, is not interesting it is something to be done away with...
Quote #6767
Think of what would happen to us in America if there were no humorists;...
Quote #1779
I have given up reading books; I find it takes my mind off myself.
Quote #1952
Paying alimony is like feeding hay to a dead horse.
Quote #3518
With just enough of learning to misquote.
Quote #34593
You can forget a lot of things, but you cannot forget a womans name...
Quote #21961
No man is justified in doing evil on the ground of expediency.
Quote #8161
When in doubt, tell the truth.
Quote #10802
Do what nobody else can do for you. Omit to do anything else.