Quote #9228
Men are jerks. Women are psychotic.
Quote #30550
Never tell people how to do things. Tell them what you want them to...
Quote #20775
You don’t have to hold a position in order to be a leader.
Quote #1983
Conscience is a mother-in-law whose visit never ends
Quote #28155
I hope that after I die, people will say of me ‘That guy sure...
Quote #28086
To your friends, you’re like a trash bag they’ll use you for a little...
Quote #28407
Something tells me that the first mousetrap wasn’t designed to catch mice at all,...
Quote #19341
I’m not a real movie star. I’ve still got the same wife I started...
Quote #2850
Love: The delusion that one woman differs from another.
Quote #28342
When you die, if you get a choice between going to regular heaven or...