Quote #33664
I’m worried that the universe will soon need replacing. It’s not holding a charge.
Quote #12650
My computer beat me at checkers, but I sure beat it at kickboxing.
Quote #545
I wish the government would put a tax on pianos for the incompetent.
Quote #33042
The Russians love Brooke Shield because her eyebrows remind them of Leonid Brezhnev.
Quote #7172
The most beautiful as well as the most ugly inclinations of man are not...
Quote #5141
The spirit, the will to win, and the will to excel are the things...
Quote #3840
He who would leap high must take a long run.
Quote #23685
I don’t know why it is that the religious never ascribe common sense to...
Quote #21120
Modern cynics and skeptics … see no harm in paying those to whom they...
Quote #23782
Restlessness and discontent are the first necessities of progress.