Quote #34421
If you look good and dress well, you don’t need a purpose in life.
Quote #29447
It’s not Jerusalem, It’s not Baghdad. It’s not Bolivia. It’s Oklahoma.
Quote #33545
A good friend can tell you what is the matter with you in a...
Quote #12354
was very patriotic. That is, it talked about killing foreigners.
Quote #9873
Ya know, if you treated every comic the way you treated me tonight. You...
Quote #13776
Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off the...
Quote #31345
I was going to have cosmetic surgery until I noticed that the doctor’s office...
Quote #13721
We aim above the mark to hit the mark.
Quote #20665
Modern man thinks he loses something time when he does not do things quickly....
Quote #8750
I just bought a microwave fireplace. You can spend an evening in front of...