Quote #619
I refuse to believe that trading recipes is silly. Tunafish casserole is at least...
Quote #9873
Ya know, if you treated every comic the way you treated me tonight. You...
Quote #29127
God writes a lot of comedy the trouble is, he’s stuck with so many...
Quote #9972
There is more stupidity then hydrogen in the universe and it has a longer...
Quote #11882
The human language is like a cracked kettle on which we beat out a...
Quote #6702
There are two ways to slide easily through life; to believe everything or to...
Quote #1280
“One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that...
Quote #22918
All the adversity I’ve had in my life, all my troubles and obstacles, have...
Quote #25673
A grownup is a child with layers on.
Quote #21737
Our greatest pretenses are built up not to hide the evil and the ugly...