Quote #20579
Don’t tell your friends their social faults they will cure the fault and never...
Quote #29528
When we cannot bear to be alone, it means we do not properly value...
Quote #29776
By health I mean the power to live a full, adult, living, breathing life...
Quote #9873
Ya know, if you treated every comic the way you treated me tonight. You...
Quote #9548
The most valuable function performed by the federal government is entertainment.
Quote #13505
Man invented language to satisfy his deep need to complain.
Quote #26928
Candy is dandy, but liquor is quicker.
Quote #34861
Maturity is a bitter disappointment for which no remedy exists, unless laughter can be...
Quote #31026
… I pledge allegiance to the Christian flag and to the Savior, for whose...
Quote #30154
You can’t trust a promise someone makes while they’re drunk, in love, hungry, or...