Quote #11219
I’m very curious to know what the hell they’re saying on the phone, but...
Quote #446
I often quote myself. It adds spice to my conversation.
Quote #8028
Never rely on the glory of the morning nor the smiles of your mother-in-law.
Quote #20767
Oh, I don’t blame Congress. If I had 600 billion at my disposal, I’d...
Quote #2794
Pain and foolishness lead to great bliss and complete knowledge, for Eternal Wisdom created...
Quote #16515
All writers-all people-have their stores of private and family legends which lie like a...
Quote #7384
Sometimes I think we’re alone. Sometimes I think we’re not. In either case, the...
Quote #715
Wit makes its own welcome, and levels all distinctions. No dignity, no learning, no...
Quote #4043
A moment’s insight is sometimes worth a life’s experience.
Quote #8735
The whole object of comedy is to be yourself and the closer you get...