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Jack Handey Deep Thoughts

Quote #13744

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
Sometimes when I feel like killing someone, I do a little trick to calm...
Walter Winchell

Quote #3204

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
Remember that nobody will ever get ahead of you as long as he is...
Henry David Thoreau

Quote #4858

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
Our houses are such unwieldy property that we are often imprisoned rather than housed...
Trey and Matt Stone Parker

Quote #21132

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
Sometimes what’s right isn’t as important as what’s profitable.
H.R. Haldeman

Quote #97

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
Once the toothpaste is out of the tube, it’s hard to get it back...
Mark

Quote #15442

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
If a house be divided against itself, that house cannot stand.
Thomas Jefferson

Quote #8068

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
Rebellion to tyrants is obedience to God.
Johann von Goethe

Quote #1179

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
Mathematicians are like Frenchmen whatever you say to them they translate into their own...
Charlotte Bronte

Quote #11260

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
I try to avoid looking forward or backward, and try to keep looking upward.
Colette

Quote #19909

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
Total absence of humor renders life impossible.
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