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Jack Handey Deep Thoughts

Quote #13815

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
Sometimes I think I’d be better off dead. No, wait. Not me, you.
Andrew Schneider

Quote #21534

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
By mid-November I always like to have an extra 15 pounds on me.
Marion Shepilov Barry, Jr.

Quote #10507

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the...
W. Somerset Maugham

Quote #8675

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
There’s always one who loves and one who lets himself be loved.
Sri da Avabhas

Quote #10376

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
Evelyn slapped Raymond on the back with a laugh. You must be starved old...
Saskya Pandita

Quote #16217

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
Not to be cheered by praise, Not to be grieved by blame, But to...
Japanese Proverb

Quote #8027

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
Vision without action is a daydream. Action without vision is a nightmare.
Dylan Thomas

Quote #4371

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
An alcoholic is someone you don’t like who drinks as much as you do.
Albert Einstein

Quote #9214

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I’m not sure...
Henry Fielding

Quote #12981

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
A newspaper consists of just the same number of words, whether there be any...
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