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Jack Handey Deep Thoughts

Quote #13925

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
When you’re going up the stairs and you take a step, kick the other...
Lynn Lavner

Quote #15044

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
The Bible contains six admonishments to homosexuals and 362 admonishments to heterosexuals. That doesn’t...
Kaleel Jamison

Quote #14495

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
Relationships–of all kinds–are like sand held in your hand. Held loosely, with an open...
Charles Feidelson, Jr.

Quote #12936

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
Life is a series of little deaths out of which life always returns.
Robert Burns

Quote #4524

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
I have a hundred times wished that one could resign life as an officer...
Alfred E. Newman

Quote #16018

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
Crime does not pay … as well as politics.
Claude Levi-Strauss

Quote #15155

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
The wise man doesn’t give the right answers, he poses the right questions.
Charles Caleb Colton

Quote #2317

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
Happiness, that grand mistress of the ceremonies in the dance of life, impels us...
W. Somerset Maugham

Quote #8675

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
There’s always one who loves and one who lets himself be loved.
Harold Wilson

Quote #19179

Author admin Date November 1, 2013
A week is a long time in politics.
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George E. Woodberry Geoffrey Chaucer Baron Patrick Maynard Stuart Blackett John Henry Newman William E. Brock David Mamet Dr. William Claire Menninger Gottfried Reinhardt Anthony Powell Stephen S. Wise