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Jack Handey Deep Thoughts

Quote #28318

Author admin Date October 28, 2013
If you get invited to your first orgy, don’t just show up nude. That’s...
Wilhelm I, last words, 8 March 1888.

Quote #3451

Author admin Date October 28, 2013
I now have no time to be tired.
George Burns

Quote #22954

Author admin Date October 28, 2013
I get a standing ovation jaust standing.
Lyndon B. Johnson

Quote #16587

Author admin Date October 28, 2013
Poverty must not be a bar to learning and learning must offer an escape...
Henry David Thoreau

Quote #20443

Author admin Date October 28, 2013
Money is not required to buy one necessary of the soul.
Thomas Jefferson

Quote #23233

Author admin Date October 28, 2013
No government ought to be without censors & where the press is free, no...
Jean Jacques Rousseau

Quote #31305

Author admin Date October 28, 2013
To endure is the first thing that a child ought to learn, and that...
Dennis Miller, MCing the 1991 Emmies

Quote #3555

Author admin Date October 28, 2013
I have the distinction of speaking to you from one of the few countries...
Alighieri Dante

Quote #26937

Author admin Date October 28, 2013
Lasciate ogni speranza voi ch’entrate. (Abandon all hope, all ye who enter here)
Samuel Goldwyn

Quote #7991

Author admin Date October 28, 2013
A wide screen just makes a bad film twice as bad.
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