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Jack Handey Deep Thoughts

Quote #28371

Author admin Date October 28, 2013
If you make ships in a bottle, I bet the thing that really makes...
Sy Rosen and Christian Williams, Northern Exposure, On Your Own, 1992

Quote #9848

Author admin Date October 28, 2013
Joel: Ed, are you hallucinating? Ed: Oh, yeah, but not right now.
Marcus Tullius Cicero

Quote #22324

Author admin Date October 28, 2013
The authority of those who teach is often an obstacle to those who want...
Barbara Colorose

Quote #26776

Author admin Date October 28, 2013
We control fifty percent of a relationship. We influence one hundred percent of it.
Homer, The Odyssey

Quote #4178

Author admin Date October 28, 2013
It is equally wrong to speed a guest who does not want to go,...
Benjamin Franklin

Quote #6838

Author admin Date October 28, 2013
Three may keep a secret, if two of them are dead.
Andre Agassi, on "Charlie Rose"

Quote #5403

Author admin Date October 28, 2013
What makes something special is not just what you have to gain, but what...
Joseph Conrad

Quote #10582

Author admin Date October 28, 2013
I take it that what all men are really after is some form or...
Joe Paterno

Quote #21882

Author admin Date October 28, 2013
Success without honor is an unseasoned dish it will satisfy your hunger, but it...
Hellen Keller

Quote #10474

Author admin Date October 28, 2013
Science may have found a cure for most evils; but it has found no...
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