Quote #1859
Communism is like one big phone company.
Quote #1797
You never realize how short a month is until you pay alimony.
Quote #161
The first half of our lives is ruined by our parents, and the second...
Quote #2869
Our lives improve only when we take chances – and the first and most...
Quote #6767
Think of what would happen to us in America if there were no humorists;...
Quote #28604
If you always do what interests you, at least one person is pleased.
Quote #20890
I have Immortal longings in me.
Quote #2376
We can learn much from wise words, little from wisecracks, and less from wise...
Quote #29778
You can live a lifetime and, at the end of it, know more about...
Quote #22910
If we keep doing what we’re doing, we’re going to keep getting what we’re...