Quote #9873
Ya know, if you treated every comic the way you treated me tonight. You...
Quote #27441
You can’t do anything about the length of your life, but you can do...
Quote #19370
Nobody will ever win the Battle of the Sexes. There’s just too much fraternizing...
Quote #11414
Cultivate the habit of early rising. It is unwise to keep the head long...
Quote #603
All sins are attempts to fill voids.
Quote #19800
There is no friend like an old friend who has shared our morning days,...
Quote #15058
The man who has strong opinions and always says what he thinks is courageous...
Quote #1281
“When angry, count four; when very angry, swear.
Quote #31395
It is possible by long-continued practice, not merely in lying, but in talking on...
Quote #32414
Be patient enough to live one day at a time, letting yesterday go and...