Quote #1797
You never realize how short a month is until you pay alimony.
Quote #13032
I learned long ago never to wrestle with a pig. You get dirty, and...
Quote #1948
Creator: a comedian whose audience is afraid to laugh.
Quote #25653
I never said I had no idea about most of the things you said...
Quote #3639
A lie can travel halfway round the world while the truth is putting on...
Quote #31703
You are looking as fresh as paint.
Quote #14576
Die? I should say not, dear fellow. No Barrymore would allow such a conventional...
Quote #17676
The female of the species is more deadly than the male.
Quote #19715
If you know how to spend less than you get, you have the philosopher’s...
Quote #15101
In life, the first thing you must do is decide what you really want....