Quote #9873
Ya know, if you treated every comic the way you treated me tonight. You...
Quote #3973
To knock a thing down, especially if it is cocked at an arrogant angle,...
Quote #3641
There are two kinds of men who never amount to much: those who cannot...
Quote #19317
I don’t make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.
Quote #28145
I bet the main reason the police keep people away from a plane crash...
Quote #31244
We’re all proud of making little mistakes. It gives us the feeling we don’t...
Quote #17057
They say the seeds of what we will do are in all of us,...
Quote #34266
It isn’t necessary to have relatives in Kansas City in order to be unhappy.
Quote #25754
If absolute power corrupts absolutely, does absolute powerlessness make you pure
Quote #31829
The moment we begin to fear the opinions of others and hesitate to tell...