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Jack Handey Deep Thoughts

Quote #28274

Author admin Date October 28, 2013
If you work on a lobster boat, sneaking up behind someone and pinching him...
Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Quote #33921

Author admin Date October 28, 2013
What government is the best That which teaches us to govern ourselves.
Leona Helmsly

Quote #28593

Author admin Date October 28, 2013
Only the little people pay taxes.
Dwight D. Eisenhower

Quote #16632

Author admin Date October 28, 2013
Unlike presidential administrations, problems rarely have terminal dates.
Katharine Hepburn

Quote #576

Author admin Date October 28, 2013
Plain women know more about men than beautiful ones do.
Evan Esar

Quote #27441

Author admin Date October 28, 2013
You can’t do anything about the length of your life, but you can do...
Leonard Brandwein

Quote #1851

Author admin Date October 28, 2013
Beware of programmers who carry screwdrivers.
Lord Chesterfield

Quote #15353

Author admin Date October 28, 2013
Learning is acquired by reading books, but the much more necessary learning, the knowledge...
Groucho Marx

Quote #34268

Author admin Date October 28, 2013
She got her looks from her father. He’s a plastic surgeon.
Oscar Levant

Quote #29537

Author admin Date October 28, 2013
I once said cynically of a politician, ‘He’ll doublecross that bridge when he comes...
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