Quote #28841
Naturally intelligent people are like lumps of coal. Eventually, we turn into diamonds, And...
Quote #34524
There will be a time when loud-mouthed, incompetent people seem to be getting the...
Quote #383
Life is uncertain. Eat dessert first.
Quote #24631
In the beginning, the universe was created. This made a lot of people very...
Quote #9957
Ya know, if you treat every comic the way you treated me tonight, You...
Quote #16948
Intellect annuls fate. So far as a man thinks, he is free.
Quote #15421
Who would venture upon the journey of life, if compelled to begin it at...
Quote #9274
Do not look back. And do not dream about the future, either. It will...
Quote #5480
The reward for conformity was that everyone liked you except yourself.
Quote #30962
An ass is but an ass, though laden with gold.