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Jack Handey Deep Thoughts

Quote #28280

Author admin Date October 28, 2013
I think when you go on trial they should have a parrot there that...
(Anon.)

Quote #19199

Author admin Date October 28, 2013
Smash forehead on keyboard to continue.
Thomas H. Huxley

Quote #6610

Author admin Date October 28, 2013
Only a scientific people can survive in a scientific future.
Walter Reuther

Quote #10713

Author admin Date October 28, 2013
If you are not big enough to lose, you are not big enough to...
Woody Allen

Quote #127

Author admin Date October 28, 2013
Interestingly, according to modern astronomers, space is finite. This is a very comforting thought—particularly...
Fred Allen

Quote #2463

Author admin Date October 28, 2013
An income tax form is like a laundry list — either way you lose...
Woody Allen

Quote #18314

Author admin Date October 28, 2013
I had a terrible education. I attended a school for emotionally disturbed teachers.
Aristotle, Politics (quoting a proverb)

Quote #4449

Author admin Date October 28, 2013
Well begun is half done.
Robin Green

Quote #34035

Author admin Date October 28, 2013
Time is just something that we assign. You know, past, present, it’s just all...
George

Quote #26307

Author admin Date October 28, 2013
May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.
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