Quote #33864
Never knock on Death’s door ring the bell and run away Death really hates...
Quote #17723
There is one piece of advice, in a life of study, which I think...
Quote #381
Sex is a bad thing because it rumples the clothes.
Quote #9417
He that is good at making excuses is seldom good at anything else.
Quote #31866
Experience a comb life gives you after you lose your hair.
Quote #2452
People are about as happy as they make up their minds to be.
Quote #5038
Justice Marshall has made his decision. Let him enforce it.
Quote #9957
Ya know, if you treat every comic the way you treated me tonight, You...
Quote #24641
You live and learn. At any rate, you live.
Quote #19497
In spite of the cost of living, it’s still popular.