Sung to the tune of “Winter Wonderland”Doorbell rings, I’m not list’nin’,From my mouth, drool is glist’nin’,I’m happy–althoughMy boss let me go–Happily addicted to the Web.All night long, I sit clicking,Unaware time is ticking,There’s beard on my cheek,Same clothes for a week,Happily addicted to the Web.Friends come by; they shake me,Saying, “Yo, man!Don’t you know tonight’s the senior prom?”With a listless shrug, I mutter, “No, man;I just discovered letterman-dot-com!”I don’t phone, don’t send faxes,Don’t go out, don’t pay taxes,Who cares if somedayThey drag me away?I’m happily addicted to the Web!

