These are supposedly actual signs that have appeared at various locations. Outside a country shop: “We buy junk and sell antiques.” In the window of an Oregon store: “Why go elsewhere and be cheated when you can come here?” In a Maine restaurant: “Open 7 days a week and weekends.” In the vestry of a New England church: “Will the last person to leave please see that the perpetual light is extinguished.” In a Pennsylvania cemetery: “Persons are prohibited from picking flowers from any but their own graves.” On a roller coaster: “Watch your head.” On the grounds of a public school: “No trespassing without permission.” On a Tennessee highway: “When this sign is under water, this road is impassable.” In front of a New Hampshire car wash: “If you can’t read this, it’s time to wash your car.”

