Funny Jokes » Stats/Math Jokes

Three is equal to four

admin — Sat, 02 Nov 2013 04:29:39 +0000

|Theorem: 3=4Proof:Suppose:a + b = cThis can also be written as:4a – 3a + 4b – 3b = 4c – 3cAfter reorganizing:4a + 4b – 4c = 3a + 3b – 3cTake the constants out of the brackets:4 * (a+b-c) = 3 * (a+b-c)Remove the same term left and right:4 = 3

Story about infinity

admin — Sat, 02 Nov 2013 04:29:39 +0000

|A very large mathematical convention was held in Las Vegas. The conventioneers filled two hotels, each with an infinite number of rooms. The hotels were across the street from each other and were owned by brothers. One evening, while everyone was out at a bar-b-que, one of the hotels burned to the ground. The brothers got together and worked out a plan. In the remaining hotel, they moved all guests to twice their room number — room 101 moved to 202, room 1234 moved to room 2468, etc. Then all the odd number rooms were empty, and there were an infinite number of odd rooms. So the guests from the other hotel moved into them

Dollars equal cents

admin — Sat, 02 Nov 2013 04:29:39 +0000

|Theorem: 1$ = 1c.Proof:And another that gives you a sense of money disappearing.1$ = 100c= (10c)^2= (0.1$)^2= 0.01$= 1cHere $ means dollars and c means cents. This one is scary in that I have seen PhD’s in math who were unable to see what was wrong with this one. Actually I am crossposting this to sci.physics because I think that the latter makes a very nice introduction to the importance of keeping track of your dimensions.

The math one-liners

admin — Sat, 02 Nov 2013 04:29:39 +0000

|Math problems? Call 1-800-[(10x)(13i)^2]-[sin(xy)/2.362x]. If parallel lines meet at infinity – infinity must be a very noisy place with all those lines crashing together!Maths Teacher: Now suppose the number of sheep is x…Student: Yes sir, but what happens if the number of sheep is not x?Zenophobia: the irrational fear of convergent sequences.Philosophy is a game with objectives and no rules. Mathematics is a game with rules and no objectives.If I had only one day left to live, I would live it in my statistics class: it would seem so much longer.

Dollars equal ten cents

admin — Sat, 02 Nov 2013 04:29:39 +0000

|Theorem: 1$ = 10 centProof:We know that $1 = 100 centsDivide both sides by 100$ 1/100 = 100/100 cents=> $ 1/100 = 1 centTake square root both side=> squr($1/100) = squr (1 cent)=> $ 1/10 = 1 cent Multiply both side by 10=> $1 = 10 cent

The birthday study

admin — Sat, 02 Nov 2013 04:29:39 +0000

|It is proven that the celebration of birthdays is healthy. Statistics show that those people who celebrate the most birthdays become the oldest. — S. den Hartog, Ph D. Thesis Universtity of Groningen.

N equals N plus one

admin — Sat, 02 Nov 2013 04:29:39 +0000

|Theorem: n=n+1Proof:(n+1)^2 = n^2 + 2*n + 1Bring 2n+1 to the left:(n+1)^2 – (2n+1) = n^2Substract n(2n+1) from both sides and factoring, we have:(n+1)^2 – (n+1)(2n+1) = n^2 – n(2n+1)Adding 1/4(2n+1)^2 to both sides yields:(n+1)^2 – (n+1)(2n+1) + 1/4(2n+1)^2 = n^2 – n(2n+1) + 1/4(2n+1)^2This may be written:[ (n+1) - 1/2(2n+1) ]^2 = [ n - 1/2(2n+1) ]^2Taking the square roots of both sides:(n+1) – 1/2(2n+1) = n – 1/2(2n+1)Add 1/2(2n+1) to both sides:n+1 = n

Answering machine

admin — Sat, 02 Nov 2013 04:29:39 +0000

|Hello, this is probably 438-9012, yes, the house of the famous statistician. I’m probably not at home, or not wanting to answer the phone, most probably the latter, according to my latest calculations. Supposing that the universe doesn’t end in the next 30 seconds, the odds of which I’m still trying to calculate, you can leave your name, phone number, and message, and I’ll probably phone you back. So far the probability of that is about 0.645. Have a nice day.

One plus one are two

admin — Sat, 02 Nov 2013 04:29:39 +0000

|Theorem: 1 + 1 = 2Proof:n(2n – 2) = n(2n – 2)n(2n – 2) – n(2n – 2) = 0(n – n)(2n – 2) = 02n(n – n) – 2(n – n) = 02n – 2 = 02n = 2n + n = 2or setting n = 11 + 1 = 2

The results of statistics

admin — Sat, 02 Nov 2013 04:29:39 +0000

|. Ten percent of all car thieves are left-handed2. All polar bears are left-handed3. If your car is stolen, there’s a 10 percent chance it was taken by a Polar bear1. 39 percent of unemployed men wear spectacles2. 80 percent of employed men wear spectacles3. Work stuffs up your eyesight1. All dogs are animals2. All cats are animals3. Therefore, all dogs are cats1. A total of 4000 cans are opened around the world every second2. Ten babies are conceived around the world every second3. Each time you open a can, you stand a 1 in 400 chance of becoming pregnant