Funny Jokes » Medicine

A young woman visited her doctor complaining of a bed wetting problem…

admin — Sat, 02 Nov 2013 04:24:15 +0000

A young woman visited her doctor complaining of a bed wetting problem. The doctor asked her the usual questions and then asked her to go behind the screen and remove her clothes. She was a bit shocked but went ahead anyway. When she was undressed he asked her to stand on her hands in front of and facing a full length mirror. The young woman was even more shocked but if it would help solve her problem she thought she had better do what the doctor said. As soon as she was in position the doctor asked her to open her legs and when she did he put his head between them and rested his chin right on her private parts. After a few moments and some very positive ‘yes, yes’ type noises the doctor instructed her to get dressed again. Afterwards, the doctor sat her down and informed her that the main cause of her problem was just that she was drinking far too much liquid before going to bed. “So what did the exercise in front of the mirror tell you?” “Well,” said the doctor, “my wife is right, a beard would suit me.”

A midget walks into the doctors and says…

admin — Sat, 02 Nov 2013 04:24:15 +0000

A midget walks into the doctors and says, “Doc, I’ve got these fuckingitchy balls and I can’t do anything to stop ‘em itching”.The Doc says, “I can see the problem and I’ll fix it for ya”So the Doc pulls out a pair of scissors and tells the Midget to close his eyes. The midget hears snip, snip snip noises for about 5 minutes.The doc finishes and says, “How’s that?”The midget says, “Fucking brilliant, what did you do?”The Doc says, “I trimmed back your high boots”

This woman goes into a dentist’s office…

admin — Sat, 02 Nov 2013 04:24:15 +0000

This woman goes into a dentist’s office, after he is through examining her he says: “I am sorry to tell you this, but I am going to have to drill a tooth.” The woman then says with anticipated agony, “Ooooohhhh, I’d rather have a baby!” To which the dentist replies: “Well make up your mind. I have to adjust the chair.”

At a dentist’s

admin — Sat, 02 Nov 2013 04:24:15 +0000

Dentist: “Would you help me out? I’d like you togive a few of your loudest screams.” Patient: “Why, Doc? It isn’t all that bad this time.” Dentist: “Well, there are about 20 people in thewaiting room right now, and I don’t want to missthe five o’clock Braves game on Channel 4.”

John and David were both patients in a Mental hospital…

admin — Sat, 02 Nov 2013 04:24:15 +0000

John and David were both patients in a Mental hospital. One day, John suddenly dived into the deep end of the swimming pool. David jumped inand saved him, and the medical director came to know of his heroic act.He immediately order David to be discharged from the mental hospital ashe is OK.Doctor: We have good news and bad news for you, David. The good news is that we are going to discharge you because you have regained your senses, since you are able to jump in and save another patient you are now a normal person. The bad news is that, the patient Mr. John, whom you have saved, hung himself in the toilet, and died.David: Doctor, he didn’t hang himself. I hung him there to dry

A construction worker goes to the doctor and says…

admin — Sat, 02 Nov 2013 04:24:15 +0000

A construction worker goes to the doctor and says, “Doc, I’m constipated.”The doctor examines him for a minute and then says, “Lean over the table.”The construction worker leans over the table, the doctor whacks him on the ass with a baseball bat, and then sends him into the bathroom.He comes out a few minutes later and says, “Doc, I feel great. What should I do?”The doctor says, “Stop wiping with cement bags.”

There was this man in a mental hospital…

admin — Sat, 02 Nov 2013 04:24:15 +0000

There was this man in a mental hospital. All day he would put his ear tothe wall and listen. The doctor would watch this guy do this day afterday. So the doctor finally decided to see what the guy was listening to,so he put his ear up to the wall and listened. He heard nothing.So he turned to the mental patient and said, “I don’t hear anything.”The mental patient said, “Yeah, I know. It’s been like that for months!”

Did you hear about the nurse who swallowed a razor blade?

admin — Sat, 02 Nov 2013 04:24:15 +0000

Did you hear about the nurse who swallowed a razor blade?She gave herself a tonsillectomy, an appendectomy,a hysterectomy, and circumcised three of the doctors on her shift.

The doctor took Bill into the room and said…

admin — Sat, 02 Nov 2013 04:24:15 +0000

The doctor took Bill into the room and said,”Bill, I have some good news and some bad news.” Bill said, “Give me the good news.” “They’re going to name a disease after you.”

A man phones a mental hospital and asks the receptionist…

admin — Sat, 02 Nov 2013 04:24:15 +0000

A man phones a mental hospital and asks the receptionist ifthere is anybody in room 27. She goes and checks, and comesback to the phone, telling him No, the room is empty. “Good,” says the man. “That means I must have really escaped.”