Funny Jokes » Religion

Did you hear about the dyslectic agnostic with insomnia?

admin — Sat, 02 Nov 2013 04:24:08 +0000

Q: Did you hear about the dyslectic agnostic with insomnia?A: He used to lay awake at night wondering if there really was a dog.

Where to send him?

admin — Sat, 02 Nov 2013 04:24:08 +0000

A Jesuit, a Dominican and a Franciscan were walking along an old road, debating the greatness of their orders. Suddenly, an apparition of the Holy Family appeared in front of them, with Jesus in a manger and Mary and Joseph praying over him. The Franciscan fell on his face, over come with awe at the of sight God born in such poverty. The Dominican fell to his knees, Adoring the beautiful reflection of the Trinity and the Holy Family. The Jesuit walked up to Joseph, put his arm around his shoulder, and said, “So, where ya thinking of sending the kid for school?

Why do priests wear shorts in the shower?

admin — Sat, 02 Nov 2013 04:24:08 +0000

Why do priests wear shorts in the shower?They don’t like to look down on the unemployed.

What do you call a man that marries another man?

admin — Sat, 02 Nov 2013 04:24:08 +0000

What do you call a man that marries another man?A minister

Divine Right

admin — Sat, 02 Nov 2013 04:24:08 +0000

Several years ago, the Catholic Church required women to wear a headcovering in order to enter the sanctuary. One Sunday a lady arrivedwithout her head covering. The priest informs her that she cannot enter without it. A few moments later, the lady re-appears wearing her blouse tied toher head. The shocked priest says, “Madam, I cannot allow you toenter this holy place without your wearing a blouse.” “But Father, I have a divine right,” she informs.”Yes, I see. And your left one isn’t bad either, but you still must wear a blouse to enter *this* church!” he insists.

On the airplane on his way back to Rome, the Pope was…

admin — Sat, 02 Nov 2013 04:24:08 +0000

On the airplane on his way back to Rome, the Pope was doing a crossword puzzle. After a while, he turned the the bishop sitting next to him and said,”What’s a four -letter word ending in “unt” which means “woman”?The bishop said,”Did you try “aunt”?The Pope said,”Mmmm. Do you have an eraser?”

Confession

admin — Sat, 02 Nov 2013 04:24:08 +0000

The new nun goes to her first confession. She tells the priest that she has a terrible secret and he tells her that her secret is safe in the sanctity of the confessional.She says, “Father, I never wears panties under my habit.”The priest chuckles and says, “That’s not so serious. Say five Hail Marys, five Our Fathers and do five cartwheels on your way to the altar.

How can I believe in God when just last week…

admin — Sat, 02 Nov 2013 04:24:08 +0000

“How can I believe in God when just last week I gotmy tongue caught in the roller of an electric typewriter?” by Woody Allen.

Two Irishmen were digging a ditch directly across from a brothel…

admin — Sat, 02 Nov 2013 04:24:08 +0000

Two Irishmen were digging a ditch directly across from a brothel.Suddenly, they saw a rabbi walk up to the front door, glance around and duck inside. “Ah, will you look at that?” One ditch digger said.”What’s our world comin’ to when men of th’ cloth are visitin’ suchplaces?”A short time later, a Protestant minister walked up to the door andquietly slipped inside. “Do you believe that?” The workman exclaimed.”Why, ’tis no wonder th’ young people today are so confused, what withthe example clergymen set for them.”After an hour went by, the men watched as a Catholic priest quicklyentered the whore house. “Ah, what a pity,” the digger said, leaningon his shovel. “One of th’ poor lasses must be ill.”

The only true religion

admin — Sat, 02 Nov 2013 04:24:08 +0000

One day God called the Pope, and he said “John Paul I have good news and bad news. First the good news. I am tired of all the squabbling between the religions. I have decided there will be only the one true religion”. The Pope was overjoyed and told God how wise his decision was, then asked “What’s the bad news?”. God said the bad news is that I am calling from Salt Lake City.